Thoughts and Research

A reflection on the shift from hesitation to readiness, and the quiet acceptance that it’s time to move toward a new journey. The universe has been preparing me, and I’m finally ready to listen.

For years, the idea of leaving felt like standing at the edge of a cliff—terrifying, premature, maybe even foolish. But something has shifted. The fear is still there, but it’s no longer paralyzing. It’s become clarity. A knowing. The kind that doesn’t need permission or validation from anyone else.

I’ve been building skills, expanding my capacity, and deepening my understanding of what I want from life and work. The universe has been preparing me, even when I wasn’t fully aware. Every challenge, every frustration, every moment of doubt was training. And now, I’m ready.

This isn’t about running away from anything. It’s about running toward something. Toward growth, toward alignment, toward a version of myself that has been waiting patiently for me to catch up. The next chapter is calling, and for the first time, I’m not afraid to answer.

As I get older, a single income stream just doesn’t feel enough anymore. My salary is better than most, and I’m grateful for that, but reality has a way of tapping you on the shoulder—emergencies happen, bodies start to complain, and savings need to grow faster than we think. Lately I’ve felt this surge of urgency to build something more stable, something that can carry me when the usual safety nets feel thin. My insurance coverage is limited. My back aches more than it should. The possibility of real health issues down the line doesn’t feel abstract. It’s a little scary.

So I’m exploring affiliate marketing. I’ve already registered with Lazada and Shopee, and I’m eyeing Amazon next. Right now I’m in discovery mode, figuring things out as I go, making small moves and learning with each one. The hardest part so far is the waiting—waiting for approvals, waiting for payout cycles, waiting for traffic to arrive and actually convert. My websites aren’t where I want them to be yet. I’m planning to try TikTok and YouTube, maybe film a few product reviews and see what sticks. For now my strategy is simple: post products on my site, pay attention to what works, and iterate. It’s not sophisticated, but it’s honest work, and I’m optimistic. I pray it works.

What makes this shift feel especially real is that I just published a research paper on affiliate marketing in the Philippines. Moving from researcher to practitioner is humbling. There’s theory, and then there’s reality, and the gap between them is where the muscles burn. The work is heavier when it’s your money, your time, your energy on the line. It’s ironic—I studied what other people were doing, and now I’m here doing it myself. Let’s see where this goes.

Lately I’ve been using GenAI for almost everything—work, home, travel, all the little in-betweens that make up a day. I’m on paid plans for Claude, ChatGPT, and Gemini. It’s a hit to the budget, I know, but each one fills a specific role in how I think and build. Gemini pulls its weight because of the 2TB of storage; I needed cloud space anyway, so that one feels straightforward. Claude is my main tool. I use Claude CLI for programming, maintenance, and server tasks, and I’m literally editing this static site with it as I write. It’s fast, flexible, and it gives me the feeling that I can shape things quickly. ChatGPT stays in my corner because a second perspective matters; the thinking mode and DALL·E have sparked ideas I wouldn’t have reached alone, and lately I’ve been toying with Nano Bana just to see what new doors it opens.

There’s a tradeoff, though, and I think more people should say it out loud: the orchestration overhead is real. Sometimes explaining what I want, checking the output, and fixing the rough edges takes longer than just doing the task by hand. Not everything needs AI. For small, well-scoped chores, manual is still king. But for complex work, for learning, for exploring new ground, these tools absolutely pay for themselves. Are they worth the monthly cost? Most days, yes. Some days, I’m not so sure. And yes, I see the irony—I’m paying for multiple AI tools while hosting this site on a bargain VPS to save money. Priorities, right?

I made this space because I want my thoughts and research to live somewhere people can find them. Maybe someday someone will read and review what I write. Maybe not. Either way, it’s here, and that matters to me. This is my record of learning and doing—knowledge gathered, skills practiced, ideas tested in the real world. A few years ago, during a psychological exam, I was told I’m “99% intellectual achievement-oriented.” Whatever that truly means, it nudged me to document the work, not just think about it.

I’ll probably add tutorials when it makes sense. Part of this is practical too: I bought a new computer, I pay for the internet every month, and I want to build things that justify those costs, maybe even monetize a bit along the way. Mostly, though, I want a place where the thread of my thinking doesn’t get lost—a home for the questions I ask and the answers I try to build. This is that space.